Life is not an exam, mostly.
- Jul 31, 2023
- 5 min read
It is just not.
Up until we become adults we have been conditioned to follow instructions - of teachers, friends, family, other people in general - and then boom! You turn eighteen and you are expected to take control of your life without any sort of instructions and then you come across quotes saying "Life is the biggest and toughest exam you'll ever have to give with no fixed syllabus", sounds scary right? It is because it makes life seem like a chore. Now, what if just what if, we start treating it not as a chore?
First and foremost, life is not an exam. It is your actual living present, where you are breathing and making it happen. I'll tell you why this whole concept is shitty. Generally, when you give an exam, you work hard, stress over it one month before, pass the test and chill until the terror of failing paralyzes your thoughts again. Now, let's just for the sake of our understanding assume that life is an exam. For life, they say there is no syllabus. So you are saying, I have an exam for near perpetuity till death, with no syllabus and I don't know if I'll pass the test or not? And yes, I'll be stressing for the rest of my living period on Earth!? That is stressful.
You cannot keep stressing about how your life will turn out if you make a decision every time. I am not saying you won't stress but that you cannot choose to stress and the fact that you shouldn't. Life, I won't say is easy, but you get strong enough with time to face anything that comes your way.
Step No. 1 - Stop treating life an as exam. It's a f*cked up concept.
Now that we know life is not an exam really, what is it? A year ago I read a book named Karma; In the same book, I came across a line that said - "You can never try being in the present moment. You are just always there" and it moved me a little. It also made me realize that life is not only not an exam, but just a state where we are present and we have nowhere else to be. So, stop treating it as a chore and start treating it as something precious.
Life is not an exam you pass or fail. Just because something doesn't go your way doesn't mean it is the end of the world. It is certainly not hard when you put in the effort. I am also aware of the fact that on some days you cannot give your 100% and maybe just 20% or hell even 0% but that is just okay.
Everyone will tell you to hustle to the brim of the world if you want to succeed in life. Here is the twist, it is as per their definition of success. Thus, this creates peer pressure and makes you believe life is an exam and all that bull cr*p. You need to define your success and yes, it'll feel like you are betraying other people but honey, this is YOUR LIFE and NOT OTHER PEOPLE'S LIFE; So really it doesn't matter because it is far far better to decide what you want than what others want.
Step No. 2 - Make your own definition of success.
Also, coming to this realization will take time which is when things start becoming unstable. We feel that we are supposed to achieve everything by the age of 29 because that is the limit that society created when one billionaire at some point in the history of time might've achieved it. Do you see a pattern here? Again, for others. You feel you'll fail other people or your parents or yourself if you don't achieve what you want by the age of 29 because you'll then turn old.
Shah Rukh Khan, the King of Bollywood, was 27 years old when he made his film debut. He was 30 when DDLJ came out. Had he achieved everything back then? No. Did he achieve everything he has, now? Yes. The reason why I took SRK as an inspiration here is because he truly embodies the life of a simple person. He had rejected DDLJ four times only because he thought he was old. Imagine, if he hadn't played the role. The whole point is –– you are perfectly on time.
Step No. 3 - Create your own timeline.
We view our life in terms of ideals and things such as getting a house, money, designer stuff, and so on. But, what if we view it in terms of experience such as stability, peace, fun, and so on? Yeah, I know somebody will say, "Life is really hard for me, I need the money so take your shitty blog somewhere else" which I get okay? All I am saying is, materialistically you want money but technically it is the stability you wish to attain with that money.
You don't want money, you want the experience but you are blinded by the materialism of the situation and therefore are unable to accept it. There is a quote I live by - "There is an abundance of two things in the world - idiots and money." The earlier you realize, half of the world is busy focusing on money are the actual idiots (I may have been one of them) the easier it becomes. Money can be earned, really. It can come in twice every year. Your life doesn't have extra life options. It's only one.
Step No. 4 - Focus on the experiences, not the materialistic things.
This raises an important question - How do you do it? Change your perspective. We are conditioned to feel the fear of failure, which is okay you know. What is not okay is that we don't make an effort to change because it's easy. The thing is that the easier you try to live your life, the harder it gets. Ironic, isn't it? But it is what it is.
I have failed too.
If I hadn't achieved a bare 32% in CET, I wouldn't have become focused.
If I hadn't gone through my first breakup, I wouldn't have realized my worth.
If I hadn't failed my math test in 8th grade, I wouldn't have loved maths at all in the future.
If I hadn't faced any rejections during my job hunt, I wouldn't have gotten such an amazing job right now.
If I didn't have my first panic attack, I wouldn't have realized that my mental health is as important as my physical health and that I need to take care of myself. (This is not something I wish to happen to someone though because it is really not the most pleasant experience and irrespective of it, take care of yourself.)
Failures are essential. So experience it too even if it is hard because only then you'll understand the importance of the success you've defined for yourself. So let go and choose what is important for you and what is not.
Step No. 5 - Choose what matters to you and let go of what doesn't.
Well, this is one hell of a blog to consume this morning! But it's alright, you'll know I've written it. Also, good morning and have an amazing week! <3
Take care.
Written by
- Vanshika Patil.
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